Love Sick

Days go by but feel like months at a time
They grow weary & weak
The only thing that keeps me up is you & me
Is this the way love is suppose to be
It seems like it's meant to be
But the fact i cant see you slowly kills me
All I wanna do is CRY
Do you ever feel the PAIN I feel INSIDE

36 Crazyfists - Caving In Spirals

I awoke to the sound of alarms
Delicate and caving in
Drenched in my own
This faith is coming with me
Days inch by grown weary as we sleep
April has become the numbing heart I own
I'd bleed for this again and again and again
How I need for this candle to burn forever
Forever burn
Years go by and it's what I've learned
That no one's getting out alive
No one's getting out
To gather this romance
To hide from this wind, to love understatement
To hollow out the end
Days inch by grown weary as we sleep
All the mercy I've begged at shames steps
I look for peace in this
For peace in all of this

And how I need for this candle to burn forever
Forever burn
Years go by and it's what I've learned
That no one's getting out alive
No one's getting out
And this chance to live is grown in
I'm not the walking dead and I'll never be
Strayed from distance
Time sets forward the dark
A fine light to one's true self
In a den with believers my position in decent
The name familiar at the heart of it all
At the heart of it all
White noise comes with voice
I risk the promise of giving up then giving in

X-Generation

theres nothing but pain inside, it lasts all fucking day & night, no matter how much I try, same shit stuck in my mind, now I'm always feeling dead inside, I should have followed my sight, now my fate is denied, I'm the same fucked up person who lied, my mind has gone tragic cant take this fucking havoc I'm just a fucking maggot ("4LIFE") so don't even try or swallow your pride "Not For Me" its just a waste of your time!!

The Animal Ive Become :'(

if i were you id hate me, break & hurt me, id lie & cry, live in spite, why do i try, i fail to verify how i really feel inside.... when all i do is destroy lives.. so fml :(

88 Fingers Louie - I Hate Myself

Walking down a crowded street
I stop to get something to eat
And I hope I see no one I know
Out of the blue I see my ex
I think she's looking for some sex
But I tell her I don't want to go

Some people ask me why I feel this way
I look at them and tell them just go away
I hate myself and everyone else

I just wanna be alone

No one to call me on the phone
Then I know I can be by myself
Just my luck I get a call
I can't get any sleep at all
So I tell 'em all to go to hell

Some people ask me why I feel this way
I look at them and tell them just go away
I hate myself and everyone else

Some people ask me why I feel this way
I look at them and tell them just go away
I hate myself and everyone else
I hate myself - I hate myself
I hate myself - I hate myself

Possessed

"I'M A PRISONER OF A DEMON . . .
It stays with me wherever I go
I can't break away from its hold
This must be my punishment FOR SELLING MY SOUL!"

The Prince

"Angel from below . . .
I WISH TO SELL MY SOUL . . .
DEVIL TAKE MY SOUL
with diamonds you repay I don't care for heaven
so don't you look for me to cry
AND I WILL BURN IN HELL from the day I die."

Dragonland - Forever Walking Alone

Alone I travel though the wasteland in my heart As the grievance tears me apart
Thinking of you and the things you meant to me My heart is bleeding, I can't go on

If I could unwind the wheel of time I would have been by your side

If I could turn back time My precious love would be alive

The empty void inside my heart grows day by day I have nowhere to turn to ease the
Pain

Remembering the smile you used to give me And your laughter that could light
My way home

If I could unwind the wheel of time I would have been by your side

If I could turn back time I never had a chance to say goodbye

I have cried and mourned my loss My heart keeps beating only for you
Am I strong enough to fight on? Without your love I stand, I stand empty and alone

So my love watch over me now My rage catches fire, I will strike them down
I will avenge you, oh, vengeance so sweet That's my last gift for you
I'm forever walking alone

just the beginning

so when I'm at home sitting all alone in the dark I'm thinking of all the pain that slowly tears me apart! and now all that builds inside me is hurt & my constant crying never seems to be heard. You broke my heart TORN INTO PIECES & i put my hand out 4 you too bad you never reached it.

Slipknot - Snuff

Bury all your secrets in my skin. Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins. The air around me still feels like a cage And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...

So if you love me, let me go. And run away before I know. My heart is just too dark to care. I can't destroy what isn't there.

Deliver me into my Fate - If I'm alone I cannot hate I don't deserve to have you.., My smile was taken long ago, If I can change I hope I never know.

I still press your letters to my lips And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss. I couldn't face a life without your light, But all of that was ripped apart, when you refused to fight.

So save your breath, I will not care. I think I made it very clear. You couldn't hate enough to love. Is that supposed to be enough?

I only wish you weren't my friend. Then I could hurt you in the end. I never claimed to be a Saint., My own was banished long ago, It took the Death of Hope to let you go

So break yourself against my stones And spit your pity in my soul. You never needed any help... You sold me out to save yourself...

And I won't listen to your shame. You ran away, you're all the same. Angels lie to keep control., My love was punished long ago, If you still care, don't ever let me know...

The Best of Both Worlds

we lose so much & life is so tragic but beautiful at the same time its like we get the best of both worlds, the good and the bad & it draws a thin line between where we will all go in the end. Most of us live each day thinking we deserve another day here but its not always guaranteed, We spend to much time making everyones lives harder when really we could make it easier on all of our selfs: its like that Nickelback song: "If everyone cared and nobody cried, If everyone loved and nobody lied, If everyone shared and swallowed their pride, Then we'd see the day when nobody died".

Living With Social Phobia/ Social Anxiety Disorder

i just thought id share my experiences with you guys: Let me first tell you where this all started: id have to say in middle school the kids all started forming their little groups trying to be cool and competing in pretty much anything. i obviously wasn't the "social butterfly" i kinda just sat in corner and pretty much avoided any contact unless it was from close friends and even then it was like if they wanted to do stuff with the other kids i just said nah i dont want to or made excuses to why i didn't want to do it and other than talking to any of the kids at all doing presentations or working in groups are things i hated the most and dreaded even more when i went to highschool, it seems like highschool was when i dreaded everyday i remembered the 1st day was extremely awkward but surprisingly not as awkward as every other day, like the first day of any school noone rly starts or says shit to you because they are all trying to find their "comfort zone" but after they find it all hell breaks loose other than being mocked, ridiculed or publicly embarrassed and becoming even more antisocial than i already was skipping every class to go cry in the bathroom and cut yourself then completely act like nothing was wrong by the time we all go home or wiping your face and completely putting on a show when someone enters the bathroom. popping pills, smoking and drinking to essentially relieve all the pain but just make me feel worse in the end and then having to face a social situation and feeling like your going to pass out or puke all over the person who just walked past you or feeling like yur doing something embarrassing, just not good enough, and people are just fucking with you because they think their funny or dont think your going to take it seriously or what ever the case may be but you take it literally then eventually dropping out because you cant take it anymore & dont want to see another persons face or thinking if someone is gunna say something to piss you off and you might jump over a table or two or twenty then being depressed for about a year and a half afterward and my social anxiety got insanely bad after that to the point i didnt even leave my houseand if i did id be too scared to go in my backyard without downing a bottle of pills or getting so high u forgot who you were and it got so bad to the point where it turned into sort of a schizophrenia thing and i kinda still feel like that when it comes to driving and i still have SAD but its getting alot better but i hate being anywhere with too many people like malls and stuff but good news i kinda feel like everyday 1 more person is being added to the crowd of people i can deal with ^_^ but thats about all i can post right now i had some other stuff i was gunna write but i forgot but it will all come back 2 me when i write another post but to anyone who has ever felt like this or can relate let me know how u guys feel about it -bye!

~~~READ~~~

how can i get any closer to her if all i do is push her away? why i do this maybe cuz i don't wanna see myself get hurt or anyone else, I'm done with feeling sorry for my existence because if i wasn't here i wouldn't have meet some of the people Ive met now. I cant stand still and let time go by because its a chance i will lose her and maybe all of you. Dealing with my Anxiety is a pain in the ass always feeling judged or never feeling good enough, I'm dealing with it step by step so i don't get overwhelmed but the memories still remain. I've felt better than ever, But theres still much work to be done. It seems like all the big stuff I can only fix myself but the smaller stuff anyone could help me with. I'm finding one thing to love about myself everyday and its a never ending process NO EXCUSES so things can only get better right?

This is Not A Plead (Just How I Feel)

sometimes I feel like a prisoner held captive in my body with no where to go, noone to talk to & no where to run except outside my mind which seems nearly impossible. Im only human I've done things wrong in my past, but I feel that I could never forgive myself for it or accept myself, i feel noone loves me altho my girl says she does I find it hard to believe its nearly impossible to love me and if you do I don't see why noone accepts me for me all I get is mock & ridiculed So You Hate Me? and dont have answers to why simply because I'm "ME" and breathing. & while you are all pointing your fingers and mocking me as if I was never there or could hear you in the first place Im sitting in my corner crying my eyes out and after I wipe them and leave you ask "Whats Wrong" My Answer "Nothing Im Fine" because nothing could ever be wrong right?(sarcasm). It seems I'm always to blame in any situation well i knew everything was my fault anyway so why bother telling me. I know its my fault you failed your test, and you tripped and fell on your face and someone close to you died :( this would only be true if i had friends to say this about so i guess you can call this a "hypothetical scenario" so while im crying writing this all you can go ahead and ridicule me some more it just make me not care about my life more! is that what you want? i found it weird i was listening to a song and started crying today it was weird but it wouldn't be the first time Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams i also extremely related to Slipknot - Snuff is kinda made me wanna puke up broken hearts :(, i rly don't know what to say by now you probably closed this because noone cares anyway :(

Reaper

Reaper's Comfort

Sleep little child. Won’t worry about your fear,
I promise to take away all of your fears.
Shut your eyes my child, let your mind sway,
Trust me when I say the pain will soon all go away.
Forget them good child, we both know what they would say,
The things that they did to you were never okay.
Listen sweet child, for I know that your heart is torn,
So I will take you away, like you never been born.

Hatred

It flows like
Sweet wine
Through our veins
Pumped by our hearts
Morning and Night
Never a moment passes
That the deeds of
The mystics
Are forgotten.
Their indiscretions
Loom as a red flag
Before
Raging Bulls.

Mighty Warrior

Lucifer chose you
When you least expected
He Called:
"Oh, Mighty Warrior"
The power filled you
Cold Chills of awakening
Fire filled your heart
It shook the walls
You ran through
Your House
Looking for Him, but
Found nothing
Except silence.
Was it He?
Years pass and
Long Have you waited
For Him to return
And speak again
Those words of
Awakening
In your ear.

I feel horrible for the people that have to be in your presence

Action is the only thing that helps, hope is nothing. Broken hearts will never be mended. Crying never helps, screaming does. Death is a second life, good or bad. Everything is possible because everything could be real. Freedom is a lie because you'll never be freed. Gone forever and to never return because there is nowhere to return to. How did we ever survive? That will never be answered like all the other unanswered questions. Ill of lying since the lies are clearly written on my forehead. Jokes are only taken seriously because you stay serious. Killed inside but perfect on the outside. Love is nothingness, to some it's to complicated, for others it never appears Mistaken because different, No one is there to care, no one to understand the pain someone is suffering Open and welcoming but nobody wants to come near Pause and take a breath of fresh air becuase you'll suffocate in all the evil Rugged and chipped sides can be fixed Say anything because no one listens anyway Time flies because we try to much Unbelievable things will appear to be real Vanity kills us, the world, everything We bleed to see if we are alive Your always gonna be the same I don't think people could change they could only make believe. Zoned out in your own world, the perfect place.

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